Love is Self

Love is Self

Poems, songs, plays, stories of old speak of love as a wonderful, mysterious, elusive feeling that comes once in a lifetime when we find that special person or when we find passion in a skill or work that feeds our soul. Such imagery leaves one with lofty dreams that are dependent upon the kindness of a serendipitous moment that may or may not ever happen. Until then, are we left to believe that our lives are only to be filled with mediocrity with a general feeling of MEH?

Lies, terrible terrible lies! Such beliefs that have kept us living life under a horrible misconception that love is a emotion, which can only manifest in the presence others and/or under special circumstance, and, only if we are deemed worthy. It is vital that we understand that people, nor circumstance evoke love, because love is always present, it is your natural state of being.

Love is not a gift, nor a blessing, it is not an emotion, it is our natural state, or better, the foundation of our being. It is the source in which all emotions are built upon and emanate from. When we “feel” love, it is our natural state emanating. The mismanagement of emotions will either strengthen or diminish that feeling of “love”. Anger, fear, worry, grief, jealousy, will take us away from out natural state. Benevolence, courage, empathy, reverence, and joy will deepen our awareness to our natural state of being. When we fall in “love” with some one, it is usually misinterpreted for the emotions of joy and/or lust. True “love” is the allowance to be at complete ease, allowing our true sense of self to arise and shine, in the presence of another, without worry, fear, or any other emotional trigger that would diminish our true sense of being. Consider this, how many times someone tells you how great you look when you are “in love” with someone, or how you notice people noticing you more, even flirting more with you. It’s because the essential, real, you, you is actually shining! When an artist is playing an instrument or waving a brush they are tapping into their natural state, cultivating their essence and expressing it at the same time.

The concept of self love must be understood in a radically different way. Self love must been conceived as self acknowledgement, truly understanding who you are, peeling back the emotional layers of your being and life. We must remember we are not our house, our clothes, our status or jobs, nor are we are feelings or preferences. These are all part of the human costume we don through life, to experience life. When we die all these aspects of being human cease to exist. Such things and feelings are used all but to often on how we define our selves, which in turn define our lives, which in turn affirm how we define of selves (funny little circle we create).

Emotions, such as inadequacy, jealousy, envy, anger, resentment, etc will rule the roosts if not tempered. Dwelling in such a quagmire of feelings is painful, draining, and debilitating. It would only be natural to be guided to comfort such long standing emotional turmoil, wounds, through food, sex, substances, shoes, materialistic gains, or drive through status, power over others, lashing out, etc..Through mindfulness/ stillness meditation, sitting, breathing clearing the mind, connecting to deepest aspect of one’s being, we are then able to be aware of true self, surpassing through the emotional body, grounding awareness in one’s spirit. This is where freedom arises, we can be intentional towards circumstances and others, instead of having knee jerk reactions. Which always take us off balance, from center, away from true state of being.

-Kyle Chapin-